:: THE STORIES :: THE SHOWS :: CONTRIBUTORS ::

Carolyn Keddy: The most memorable was The Makers drummer jumping over his kit during their set and punching Orbit in the face. I was standing right there and I still have no idea why that happened. Seeing Mo Tucker play there. Seeing Sky Saxon. 

Jay Hinman: The “underage girl get out” show was the best, immortalized in song by The Resineators a couple of years later. Tom leapt up on stage during Blacktop (which featured Mick Collins from The Gories, who’d broken up years before)’s set in the middle of a song, gave a several minutes-long drunken rant about a girl he thought was underage needing to leave the club; then did it AGAIN (clearly pissing off the band); then ended his rant by saying “OK now back to The Gories.” 

Dulcinea Gonzalez: Probably the worst was when Beth Loudmouth unzipped Tom’s jumpsuit onstage and exposed him to the crowd...

Beth Loudmouth: One night Tom was wearing this zip up jumpsuit, like worker coveralls. He was onstage and I reached over and unzipped it and he was naked! I didn’t expect that at all... he ran around the room chasing me with his weenie hanging out… I couldn’t even look!

Another time he was running around with a fire extinguisher screaming at everyone. I don’t remember if he actually used it or not.

Then there was a night when I was really mad at him — I can’t remember why — so I went in the ladies room and took the dirty plunger and ran out and was threatening him with it, ha ha ha. I was trying to smack him in the face with it. Funny thing is, I can’t remember how this situation ended! And even funnier is that the next weekend we’d hang out like nothing had happened.

Jay Loudmouth: I didn’t witness it, but I heard a woman squatted over, and pissed on, a male singer of one of the bands playing that night in the doorway next door to the PO.

Jon von: The famous Tom locked in the office story.

Michael Lucas: Tom’s antics, definitely. Getting on stage to make announcements/pronouncements mid-set, regaling the audience with some of his a cappella numbers (“Lesbian Punching Machine,” “I Don’t get Hangovers, and When I Do I Like It”) at the end of the evening.

Tina Lucchesi: Oh jeez, there’s so many crazy stories! Tom locking everyone in the club multiple times. From Peepin’ John and Tom arguing about a coke can that was shoved in the Men’s room toilet. To the Count Backwards and the Makers showdown brawl. I was bartending and Tom yelled at me to stay behind the bar and not leave. I was all “Fuck that, I’m outta here! I gotta go make sure Russell is not getting beaten up!” Towards the end Tom was living in the club with his cat.

Carolyn Keddy: Every time Tom got bored with the band and got up on stage to ask the audience if we wanted to change the channel. He would go with the audience’s decision which most of the time was to let the band continue. It wasn’t that fun when you were the band, but it was kind of fun too.

Another favorite was a night I took it upon myself to do the lights for The Rip Offs. They weren’t happy.

Dulcinea Gonzalez: When Guitar Wolf played handed me their guitar during their set. I was stoked! I just wish I knew what the hell I was doing.

Jay Hinman: When Tom told me that ASCAP and BMI were actually trying to collect royalties on the songs he played on his hand-stocked jukebox there, and that the pennies he owed them from playing Pretty Things and Cramps 45s were likely to put The Purple Onion out of business. That was about 1994; I believe they stayed open at least five years after that.

Jay Loudmouth: My memory is fading, so this may not be the most accurate. Our band the Loudmouths were to play a show with The Stitches and Registrators from Japan at some dude’s warehouse space at 17th and Capp St. (soon after became a motorcycle repair shop). The cops were on to it and the party got busted before we played. Across town in North Beach, there was a show at Cocodrie with I believe Snap-Her and Trashwomen. Someone was able to get the Stitches and Registrators on that show last minute after the bust, so the Loudmouths jumped into Beth Loudmouth’s purple van, dropped off our gear and headed for North Beach to catch the show. As we were walking by the PO to get to the Cocodrie, we crashed the PO and the Highlander Twos were on stage with their kilts on and doing their thing. Of course Tom gets on stage between songs to rant. Beth is up front heckling and razzing Tom as only Beth can do. Tom was wearing automotive repair coveralls, and Beth unzips the front and Tom has nothing on underneath. He proceeds to chase Beth and the rest of us out of the PO by running after us with dick in hand. We ran out of the PO and up to the Cocodrie and caught the Stitches and Registrators. So much fun, great night.

Jon von: Tom arriving on his skateboard.

Michael Lucas: The Phantom Surfers’ only show there, where we played a semi-secret (we played the Bottom of the Hill the night before and didn’t want to peeve Ramona)  Sunday morning show with free brunch (maybe we conned Tom into making the show free, too: I don’t recall for sure). I really enjoy serving coffee. 

The Sunday AM beer drinkers probably enjoyed the comparatively short line to get served.

Tina Lucchesi: So many! It was always a party getting dressed up, getting drunk, and seeing some great rock-n-roll.

Greg Lowery: Whenever the Rip Offs would play shows they would be insane because the crowd was always dancing and having fun, and there was a 3 inch stage, so they kept slamming into my microphone. I wonder to this day how I never lost a tooth because of those crazy shows.

Another memory was when the Rip Offs were driving up to play the PO to unload our gear, and we saw a long line of people stretching down the block to what was then Clown Alley Hamburgers. We were shocked when we realized it was the crowd to see The Rip Offs. There was no way all those people were getting into to see the show.

There were so many great Tom moments, him coming down the street with a keg of beer on his skateboard balancing the whole thing like some circus clown. I could go on and on. Every show was an adventure at the Purple Onion.

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6